a birth story: Emilio

{Part 2!} 

Three years later, Emilio is born on the day of our anniversary.
August 2O, 2O13.

Since the start of my second pregnancy, I always felt confident that giving birth was going to be easier the second time around. As I reached my due date though, I completely forget the joy of having a newborn and the painful memory is what consumes me and so I get more fearful over it again. 

Simple things that used to work didn't work. I knew I had to fight well.  So the Word was my weapon with “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and “God did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind”. I had to read them and declare them everyday.   

Labor started for me on the morning of the 19th with a "bloody show" which for me meant the baby decided he was ready to come out. Funny also, because Emilio has always been the strong willed one, who will surely insist his way on many things. I saw that early on!

Making sure we don’t rush to the hospital again, I continued  with my day and followed Dan’s advice to just monitor my contractions. I managed to get a blood test done that morning as the contractions went on and off.

It decreased during midday and came back stronger in the evening. I was lying on my bed at midnight thinking, "we should go now". Dan was still unsure; he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. Besides, it was raining hard that night, roads might not be passable, he thought. 

But I was sure my contractions were getting more intense. And it did all the more the moment we stepped in the car. The stormy ride proved to be a good decision—had we gone later, roads would have been flooded already!

When we arrived in the ER, I knew what to do. I sat on the wheelchair and calmly told the nurse, "I'm giving birth now!". We even did a back massage right there because a strong contraction came while I was standing up. 

Doctor said I was 7cm dilated which means I was on active labor in the car! Yes! I didn't rush this time! 

After the standard Q and A, I was back in the high-risk unit laboring with my second baby. Without anesthesia. I couldn't help but think, "Why am I going through this again?!" I needed Dan to remind me why! 

I did heavy breathing exercises through the contractions while Dan proved to be such a wonderful coach. I can’t stress more that I couldn’t have done it without him. He was so helpful and… brave to stay beside me.

At 1Ocm, I found out my water bag has not been broken. I asked if it was safe to break manually so I could start pushing. They said it was okay so Dan and I agreed to it. Then what I thought was just an IE was the actual thing, she probably inserted a small needle there somehow and a second after, warm water gushed out. Okay, we're ready to push! 

I started pushing and was honestly getting impatient and tired when there was still no progress. That's when it hit me, this is not the same as before. My body was weak and tired and in my head, I needed a miracle. I can't do this. 

I was out of physical strength, I was ready to pass out! I remember exactly that I just wanted to cry and give up. But Dan being my coach, didn't give in. I will never forget how his eyes looked at me that difficult time as if telling me that I got this, that I can finish this. 

I needed that push. I think every mother going through labor, especially the last stages of it, needs to hear that. 

Prayed in my head and cleared my mind with my verses. For some divine reason, I was able to gather the very little strength I had left and gave one big push. That push, made me crown. Crowning! Yes! Been waiting for Emilio to crown! Finally! 

As soon as I was on the delivery bed, I felt a contraction come so I told my doctor, "I need to push this one, Doc". This is THE ONE. 

She gave me a go signal and after 3 long seconds,  Emilio was out. When I heard him cry and saw the doctor holding him, all I said was, "thank you Lord". My heart was full of completely pure, raw gratitude. 

Dan cut the cord as my doctor stitched me up again. I held Emilio and I was so happy to be holding a tiny baby boy in my arms this time.

I think my second birthing experience was almost the same as the first. I mean, Dan and I were able to do it together successfully and the whole process progressed normally and as expected. 

Except the thing that I was probably so aware of then was the reality that I clearly would not have done any of that without God's help. That was grace! Now, I understood grace. Ahhh, grace! 

Now I know how it feels to run out of physical strength and then have God pull me through it. I'm sure my words fall short. But oh, how my heart knows every bit. 

So. Having had experienced two unmedicated births, I am all the more convinced that it is really worth trying. I know sometimes it's not as simple as that. Complications arise and decisions need to be made, and even then God is faithful and sovereign. I believe God shows himself faithful in any kind of birth process and more than our precious baby, THAT is really our reward, our end goal. That we have known God more after all.

But hopefully after hearing my story, you will be encouraged to try unmedicated or natural birth because while yes, the recovery is faster and better, it has also the ability to deepen your marriage in the most unlikely way. When you and your husband go through something like that together, you can’t help but be changed by it. Think blood and knives!   

There is also something noble about a man choosing to stay beside you and not letting you go through it alone. I completely  feel  for the women who go through labor in the labor room all by themselves. I know how hard it can be BUT I also know how manageable it is when you have a cheering partner beside you. I mean, it’s his child too! Why go through it alone? 

I can’t imagine birthing to be any other way than having your husband coach, massage, encourage and assist you every step of the labor process leading to the actual birth. Aside from he gets to hold your baby first, I think it is one of the best boosts your marriage could ever have!