a birth story: Helena

{Part 1}

I'd like to share my birth story{ies} with you hoping you will, one, be encouraged to face your fears in birth. Two, show how it can be a beautiful thing that you and your husband can experience together. And that ultimately God is our source of strength.  

I have to warn you though that it is quite lengthy and becomes a bit graphic and animated towards the end so ready your cup of tea  or coffee and please stay with me! {sorry about the grainy pictures, they're old!}

I took childbirth lessons for my first baby, Helena, without the intention of doing Lamaze. Back then, I knew very little about births. What I only knew was that knowing what to expect will somehow lessen my fears.   

My teacher came with a Lamaze handbook so let’s just say the rest was history. She prepared me well and I realized if I do everything she told me, I could actually do this. Besides, if I give birth without anesthesia, Dan told me I can use the money {that is suppose to be for the epidural} for shopping instead.  He said it jokingly and I bought it. Please don't laugh because it was my motivation. And it worked! 

We also decided early on that we wanted to give birth in the hospital. The Hospital would  make us feel safer just in case. So our birth plan was as natural or unmedicated as it could be, in the hospital.  

So. Fast forward.

My due date came but still no baby. Helena loved to be in my belly! Funny even now, that relaxed attitude is truly her. So my doctor prescribes me some castor oil to naturally induce contractions. I agreed. 

My doctor said that castor oil will make me poop and that will hopefully trigger labor contractions. Exactly what happened that midnight after drinking it. In my head, THIS IS IIIIITTTT. This has to be it.  

Dan said, we should wait till the morning but I got too nervous excited and forced him to bring me to the hospital. So we arrive there an hour or 2 after only to find out I was 1cm dilated. I know, Dan was right, should have listened to him.  

Anyway, my doctor arrived around 5am and told me I still had a lot of time, we should go eat breakfast. So we did and yes, I labored through my early contractions in a fast food restaurant while Dan massaged me through every wave it!

By around 9am, I was 5cm dilated and ready to be admitted. We were brought to our room in the high-risk department where Dan can stay with me the entire time. That was important in our birth plan. I labored there while I watched TV, did some squats, stood up and breathed during the strong contractions. 

Some contractions lasted half a minute, some longer and stronger. I remember asking my doctor when they usually administered the epidural to which she calmly replied, "right about now". I really wanted to give in but managed to keep my resolve. I need that shopping money! 

I can't forget the time Dan needed to go down and fix our other room and the resident doctors started strapping me to the fetal monitor, which was not really part of our birth plan. My doctor wasn’t there and I felt I didn’t have a choice so I let them do it. It definitely felt harder to labor in a lying position on the bed and I knew I needed to move around. The moment Dan arrived, I bursted in tears, telling him, "You shouldn’t have left!". His presence mattered so much to me, I needed him to be there at all times. 

My dilation increased at a good pace and the contractions became more intense as I reached transition. The massages and breathing exercises helped in the beginning but it’s true when they say that when you are almost there, you really would rather not be touched because it didn't do much anymore.  

When I reached full dilation by around noon, I started pushing as instructed and also because the pressure was so strong around the pelvic area. It feels like a giant ball was not whispering BUT screaming to get out of you, which is why you would naturally push. 

I remember the resident doctor challenging me that if I did push well, the baby would come out faster. These doctors know what to say! This was the hardest stage for me, because I had to push to what I thought were the longest and strongest contractions, and had to hold that push until after the contractions ended {which  lasted around a minute by the way} because the moment you stop and catch your breath, the baby will literally be sucked back inside! Can you imagine? Wild!

After a few of those pushes, Helena showed her head or crowned at 1:3O pm. As they wheeled me, I had to control the urge to push because they haven’t prepped me yet. 

As soon as I was ready, our doctor invites us to quickly pray and as she talked, it became the most surreal experience ever, felt the presence of God literally filling up the delivery room. I never felt so confident after that. 

My doctor instructs me to do one push, “uuuuuuhhhhhh!” 

No baby. 

Second push, “uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” 

BOOM. 

BAAAAAABY! 

My almost 7 pound slimy baby slid through every part of me and I felt it. I almost didn't believe what just happened. Feeling too many emotions at that time- amazed. Speechless. Happy. Joyful. And wonderfully shocked. 

The placenta came out while Dan cut Helena's cord. Then my doctor stitches my tear {she didn't do an episiotomy, as written in our birth plan}. 

The doctors brought Helena to me and she latched quickly to my breast. Just like in the commercials, I stared at her in pure wonder and disbelief that she is here. I said a prayer in my mind as I knew my new journey has finally begun. I am a mama now? I am a mama now!   

To be continued...